Up there with death and taxes, divorce is the last topic most people want to talk about. After all, ending a marriage can launch you into painful feelings of failure, disappointment, stress, and regret. While most people do recover from a divorce, the process can bring a toll on the health as you face an expensive and lengthy legal process, move out of your home, renegotiate your role because the an effective co-parent (if you have kids), divide up your social network, and rebuild your sense of self without your partner.

While the overall divorce rate fell 18% from 2008 to 2016, divorce remains an everyday reality: About 40% of marriages end in dissolution, and around 1 million couples cut the cord every year, per a 2015 data within the Psychosomatic Drug.

While each and every relationships ends for assorted grounds (that may differ depending on and therefore spouse you ask), this new why trailing a breakup often is tracked back once again to a comparable fundamental problems that avoid people dating, of bad communication appearance to a loss of have confidence in the fresh new wake out of betrayal.

When you or your partner begins to see your marriage in a primarily negative light, you’re headed for trouble, says Shirin Peykar, a licensed ily therapist based in Sherman Oaks, CA. It can eventually become impossible to imagine your marriage improving, which in turn makes you feel hopelessness and more apt to dismiss, minimize, or even reframe positive interactions as negative, she explains.

So, whether you’re worried about a seven-year itch or bleed, feeling disrupted by blank nest syndrome, or simply feel like you’re growing apart, it helps to know what it takes and then make a wedding past as well as what might bring yours down. Read on for nine of the most common reasons married couples end up calling it quits, according to relationship experts-and real women who have been there.

1. Insufficient love and you may love

Can’t remember the last time you said I love you or held your partner’s hand? In a survey of 2,371 divorcees, nearly half blamed too little like and you can closeness, making it the most common reason for ending a study in the Diary off Sex & Relationship Cures.

In general, a lack of passion is a sign that your marriage is in serious trouble, says Terry Gaspard, Novo mesto women personals a licensed clinical social worker and author of Brand new Remarriage Guidelines. Emotional and sexual intimacy go hand in hand, and without these elements, couples will often drift apart because they don’t feel connected.

My very first spouse have been a people, but he had been emotionally unavailable. Through the years, I ran across one effect alone relating to a wedding wasn’t suit in my situation, therefore i chose to score a divorce case. -Carol D., 64

2. Marrying too young

While it might not be the first thing you think of, marrying young is a well-established risk factor for divorce. Case in point: Couples who got married as teens in the 1970s and 1980s were twice as likely to end up getting a divorce compared to those who married at later ages, per an post when you look at the The brand new Publications away from Gerontology.

Sometimes, the pressure to tie the knot at an arbitrary milestone (like after graduation or before 30) or the desire to have the Pinterest-perfect wedding can push young couples into committing to the wrong person, says Andrea Liner, Psy.D. a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of Flux Psychology in Denver, Colorado. As you mature, you might find that your relationship isn’t stable, you’re not as well-matched as you thought, or other options look more attractive.